These past few months have been tough. My romanticized version of what it would be like staying home have come crashing down with the realities of non stop child care, no money for hobbies, and the isolation of not having colleagues to talk to every day. I find myself being too harsh, too short tempered, and full of self pity. I lost track of the things that I used to like over the last few years and slowly allowed myself to disappear as I focused on being a mom. The perfect analogy for this would be that when we had to move in with my MIL a few years ago I let all my plants die. I used to love to garden and I just left them outside in the middle of winter so I would have one less thing to take care of.
But today; today the sun is shining and I am starting to pull myself out of my funk. So what if I can’t afford all that pretty fancy fabric I see online, as another post I read reminded me quilting used to be all about the scraps and living on a budget. So today I read a sewing tutorial and I am going to make a skirt with my daughter’s old curtains for her to wear. I scrapped together some loose change and bought a small plant in a two inch pot. It will grow. Slowly but surely I can make my life into what I imagined it to be without needing money.